


It's a Set Up

by Kivea



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Professors, Comedy, Humor, Humour, M/M, Rivalry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 08:03:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18846955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kivea/pseuds/Kivea
Summary: When Ike discovered who was his physics Professor, he nearly swapped classes. He knew Professor C. Tucker, because he had to listen to his brother talk about him. About how arrogant he was, how annoying, how frustrating it was to share a classroom with him.His brother, Professor K. Broflovski, who had a weird rivalry with the other Professor.It was the other Tucker he should've watched out for. The one who smiled like a shark and had a brain like Lady Macbeth.





	It's a Set Up

**Author's Note:**

> Day 5: Rivalry! 
> 
> My original plan for this when I started it (like last year) was a lot longer, but I never found the motivation to write it. I hope you still like it shorter!

When Ike first realised who his Professor was, he nearly swapped classes. Really, he didn’t  _ need  _ to take fundamental physics. It just seemed like an easy class he could pass with top marks to credit towards his final grade. It wasn’t until the man walked into the room and introduced himself that he realised what his mother had meant every time she chastised him for  taking the easy route, saying one day his laziness would catch up to him. 

_ Professor C. Tucker  _

He knew Professor Tucker. He’d heard  _ stories  _ about Professor Tucker. Not from other students – he was in his first year, he’d barely had time to unpack never mind talk shit with his dorm mates. The stories he’d heard about Professor Tucker came from the man’s colleague, who by some strange ongoing administration error had shared a lecture hall with Professor Tucker for the past year and a half. 

Stories from Professor K.  Broflovski . Ike’s big brother. 

The only thing that stopped Ike from swapping classes was the quick realisation that, like always, Kyle had over-dramatized Professor Tucker and his horrible attitude. Or, maybe less that and more that it was accurate in the sense that the man really did just not give two shits. He must’ve known that Ike  Broflovski  was in his class, because Ike caught him on the first day looking down the register of students before scanning the room with narrowed eyes. The thing with Professor Tucker was that he didn’t actually care enough to learn the names of his students. 

Six  classes in and he was sure that he was safe from being drawn into this ridiculous feud that his brother had.  Six  classes in until he encountered a problem that required him to actually speak directly to his lecturer. 

He stood in front of the department office, sucked in a breath, and knocked, hoping that Professor Tucker wouldn’t be in and he could just email and  _ why didn’t he just email _ ?! 

_ “Come in.”  _

No such luck. 

He opened the door and accepted whatever fate had in store for him. 

He’d never properly spoken to the man. He avoided answering questions in class. Avoided eye contact at all possible costs if he was honest. But here he was, staring at the man who – the asshole wasn’t even looking at him! 

“Uh…” 

Professor Tucker continued to read the book in his lap, ignoring the boy in the room. 

“Sir?” 

The stormy glare he was met with had him wishing he was still being ignored. “Boy?” 

Oh. Right. Didn’t like being called  _ sir.  _ Whoops. 

“Sorry  si -uh-Professor ?  I – I’m not going to be here for the hand in date for our next assignment, so I was hoping I could send it to you early.”

“Where are you going to be that you won’t be able to email it to me?” 

“I’m going away for a wedding. Like, a family thing, and they’re having it in some dumb resort, so I don’t know if I’ll have internet.” 

The Professor finally put down his book and good out a pen, finding a scrap of paper to make a note on. “Fine, what’s the name?” 

“Ike  Broflovski ?” 

He couldn’t help the grimace on his face as the pen came to a  _ halt _ . Grey eyes blinked once before looking up at him, stony face that gave absolutely nothing away. It was horrible. He hated it. He wanted to just disappear into the walls.  _ He should’ve just swapped classes.  _

“ Broflovski ?” 

“Yes, Professor.” 

“You’re not…?” 

What was he supposed to do? Take the chance and deny it? Play innocent? Oh no, sir, perhaps it’s just a common Jewish name that is used for people who happen to attend the college. It wasn’t worth it. Professor Tucker was a smart man. He’d never play it off. 

“My brother…he’s Kyle  Broflovski .” 

“Fuck,” the Professor dropped his pen. “Here I was looking for a tiny angry redhead.” 

“Yeah, we don’t look alike,” Ike played it off with a shrug. 

“Who’s wedding are you going to?” 

It was the most interest he’d ever seen the man show in his students. It was a little unnerving, if he was honest. The way he sat back in his chair, pen still between his fingers as he tapped it against the table. A  _ lot  _ unnerving. 

But Ike answered, because this man was in charge of marking his papers. “Uh, it’s like a family friend. He was our neighbour growing up. Kyle’s best friend.” 

“So Kyle’s going?” 

Never, not even  _ once _ , had Ike ever heard Kyle refer to this man by his first name. “Yeah, he is.” 

“I see,” the Professor began to write again, scribbling notes out on the scrap piece of paper he had. “Email it to be me before you leave for the wed ding. I hope you both have fun.” 

“Thanks, bye!” 

He shot out the room as fast as his long legs would take him  and didn’t stop walking until he was out the building. Even then, he powered through his  lack of direction to get as far away as fast as possible. That whole exchange had been weird. It had been unpleasant. It had filled him with awkwardness and a sense of dread that he really didn’t like. 

He’d  _ never  _ seen Professor Tucker show that much interest in anything. And what he was showing interest in was Kyle, not Ike. Not really. 

He could only hope nothing would come out of it. He didn’t believe that to be true though. 

He was correct when not four hours later, he got a phone call. He’d totally forgotten about his earlier conversation and answered it on autopilot as he typed away at his computer, programming the project he had for one of his classes. 

_ “You told him we’re leaving?!”  _

Ike jumped out his fucking skin at the booming voice of his brother. “What?! Who?” 

_ “Professor Douchebag, who do you think?! He told me you went in and had a friendly chat with him about my weekend plans!”  _

He floundered for an answer.  “I had to tell him why I wasn’t going to be here for the assignment deadline.” 

_ “Why did you have to drag me into it?!” _

“Kyle. Bro. We share a last name.” 

Kyle let out a cry of frustration on the other end of the line. 

“What did he even say? You’re going to a wedding, it’s not  _ that  _ big of a deal.” 

_ “It’s not  _ _ what it is, it’s the fact he knows it and lords it over me like some kind of knowledge nugget. He thinks he’s so smart just because he teaches physics – he’s not better than me!”  _

“Sorry.” 

_ “It’s not your fault. I’m sorry for blowing up at you, he just winds me up so much!”  _

“I can tell,” he pulled away from the computer  to give his brother his full attention.  “Are you alright?” 

_ “I’m  _ fine _. I’ll be fine. I didn’t realise the physics class you took was his.”  _

Ike shrugged it off. “I figured it’d probably just frustrate you if you know who my teacher was. It doesn’t really matter, does it?” 

_ “Yes. Absolutely.”  _

He rolled his eyes. “I’ll be fine. He didn’t even know who I was till today.” 

_ “He just loves to pretend we don’t exist,”  _ Kyle hissed.  _ “I have half a mind to report him for racism.”  _

“Seriously? Do you think he has a thing about Jews?” 

_ “No. But it would make me feel better.”  _

He somehow managed to calm his brother down, probably from years of dea ling with him and their mother. There are some things he just picked up over time and exposure. When they eventually left for the wedding Kyle didn’t bring up his enemy, and by the time they were coming back he seemed to be in a much better mood. 

Ike just had to count down his days till something happened. 

\--

Something, it turned out, was called Tricia Tucker. 

She was one year ahead of him, pretty but with a roughness about her personality . She had the same face as her brother, right down to the resting bitch face. She was a little more expressive, but that wasn’t necessarily a good thing considering  Ike would discover  she was downright  _ evil _ . 

“You’re Ike, right? Ike  Broflovski ?” 

He spun round and looked at the pretty blonde girl with wide eyes. “Uh, yeah?” 

“Do you have a minute? I need your help.” 

He glanced behind where his friends were, who were eager to encourage him to leave. They were  _ always  _ eager to encourage him to leave when there was a girl involved. They were  thirsty . And needed to stop. 

“Sure, yeah. I’ve got a minute.” 

She gave a smile that might’ve appealed to some people if not for the fact to Ike he could imagine sharp teeth within her mouth. His gut told him this girl was crazy, and his gut was never wrong. 

She guided him to one of the benches that decorated the courtyard outside the computer labs and waited for him to sit with her before she spoke. Almost as soon as she had him he saw the resting bitch face. Really, he should’ve seen the similarities there and then.  The put together, well dress ed, yet common way of speaking was almost iconic of his Professor. 

“Your brother teaches my comparative religion class, in the library hall.” 

“Okay. Yeah, he does teach that.” 

“My brother teaches your fundamental physics class.” 

The red alarms in his head went off. It must’ve shown on his face because she practically pounced, leaning in and grabbing his wrist to keep him seated. 

“We need to talk.” 

She told him about herself, that she was a fashion major, and the reason her brother should be thankful he was as well dressed as he was. It sounded like a lot of his style was driven from a teenage Tricia finding her passions. How the rivalry that he had with Kyle had been going on since her first year, and how while she didn’t speak to him often, she was sick and tired of the fact that every time she did, he asked about Kyle. 

“It’s pathetic,” she stated with a furrowed brow and a wave of her hands, finally having let go of Ike’s aching wrist. “I mean, really, just go to the fucking administration and get a new room,  y’know ?” 

“Kyle said he did, but that Wendy had declined. Asked them to just stick with it.” 

“Asked them to try it out , you mean . They did, they could’ve gone back. But they  _ didn’t _ . Because they actually  _ like  _ each other.” 

It was stupid. Preposterous. Absolutely the most ridiculous thing. He told her so. 

“That’s dumb.  It’s just a class rumour. ” 

“It is not,” she snapped back. “I know my brother, and I’ve seen your brother interact with him. I’m in his class, remember?” 

“Why do you even do comparative religion? You major in  _ fashion _ .” 

“Well, I had to listen to my brother harp on about this asshole who taught the class, and when it came up on options I could take I was like, why not? It’d be great to see who my brother wants to bone.” 

“Ugh. Why do you have to  _ say that _ ?” 

“Because it’s  _ true _ ,” she leant in closer, a dangerous glint in her eyes as she did so. “They’re  _ totally  _ into each other. In like, a hate-fuck  kinda  way.” 

Ike resisted the urge to be completely childish and block his ears with his fingers. “What do you want from me? To do some weird meddling thing where we set them up?” 

She all but  _ laughed  _ in his  _ face _ . “Are you joking? How boring would that be! No, I think we should enjoy it while it lasts. And I know we can make it last a long time.” 

“You want…to sabotage their relationship?” 

“It’s not a relationship yet, so no. I just want you to help me play cat and mouse for a little while. It’ll be  _ fun _ . I can make it worth your while?” 

Ike squirmed under her menacing smile. “I  dunno  about this. It seems kind of immoral.” 

“You’re the same kid who programmed one of the dorm computers into tricking the  wifi  network that it was actually one hundred computers so that you could get faster internet.” 

“And I learn my lesson.” 

She smirked and folded her arms across her chest. “You still did it. I just need you as a person to ask for advice on, and to watch it and keep me updated. I can’t be in both classes.” 

Ike ran a hand through his hair as he turned back to the courtyard, glancing round just in case his brother was nearby. “ Are you…sure about this?” 

“Oh, absolutely. It’ll be fun. We’re going to get the ball rolling, they’ll do the rest.” 

“What do you need?”

She was Crazy. 

\--

The next week felt like a lifetime. Every time his phone buzzed, he expected a message from his brother explaining how something had happened or gone wrong. Yet nothing happened. It was silence. He wondered if maybe Tricia had overestimated how strongly they felt either way. 

He should’ve known his brother better than not feeling strongly about anything. 

It happened when he was on the way to meet the man, last class for the day coming to an end. They were going out for dinner together, a weekly tradition their mother was sure to ask them about frequently. It was the class that Tricia was in he discovered as he approached the lecture room. She was one of the last people to leave, her friends flanking her as they gossiped between themselves. 

Her eyes met his and she gave him a smirk that promised she’d done what she needed to do. He wasn’t quite sure what to think about it. 

Instead he sped up and approached the doors, getting into the room just in time to see the fireworks. 

His brother was at the front desk, a box on the table that he was opening. The brows furrowed as he picked out a letter and his eyes skimmed over it. The rage was pretty instantaneous. 

“That absolute  _ asshole _ !” 

Ike grimaced at the shout and backed away towards the door. The movement brought the furious brown eyes of his brother onto him. 

“Ike!” the freckled cheeks got a little darker as he tried to compose  himself.  “I didn’t - have you seen this?” 

“Nope.” 

“Professor Tucker thinks he’s so funny,” Kyle grumbled as he snapped the box closed and crumpled up the letter in his hand. “That little shit doesn’t know what’s coming.” 

“What happened?” Ike began to descend to the front as he squinted down at the box still resting on the desk. “Are those...chocolates?” 

“Yes. I don’t know how he knew, but...” Kyle looked down at the box and his cheeks went pink again. “They’re my favourite.” 

Ike wouldn’t know how Professor Tucker would know, but he knew how Tricia Tucker knew. 

“But then he’s eaten over half of them!” Kyle flipped the lid open to reveal the half empty box. “And left me this note telling me that he didn’t want to set off my sensitive diabetes!” 

He also knew how Tricia Tucker knew that. Because she found both things out in the same day. 

“If he wants to play this game, we can play this game.” 

“What?” Ike looked up with wide eyes. “What game?” 

“This weird little passive aggressive thing!” 

“Aren’t you just gonna...talk to him?” Ike suggested. “Y’know. Give him the what for, waggle your finger. Solid, classic, Kyle lecture?” 

“I don’t  _ lecture people  _ unless they’re my students.” 

They both knew that was a lie. 

“If he wants to be sneaky, I can be sneaky.” 

Oh no. 

“Two can play at this game. In fact, it’s a good reason for me to start.” 

_ Oh no _ . 

Ike squirmed under the pressure of knowing what had happened but being too scared of Tricia to say anything. In that moment he wasn’t sure if he was more scared of her or his angry brother. “I dunno, that sounds like stooping to his level.” 

Kyle snapped the lid of the box closed and picked it up. “Then I guess I’ll stoop. I’ve known him long enough. I know his weak points too.” 

Tricia had been right. She only needed to get the ball rolling. Kyle was all too happy to respond. 

His brother didn’t tell him what this sneaky plan was. He didn’t have to wait long to find out. Two days later he was sat in his usual place at the back of the class out of the way, their Professor not quite arriving yet. The man only liked to be there one minute before class was due to start, maximum. He said it was because he was a busy man with lots of things to do. Ike reckoned he was just lazy and knew students were also lazy. 

He noticed it because of the whispers and giggles near the front row. On the table at the front, where the box of chocolates had been not days before, sat a box of hair dye. Ike felt his heartbeat speed up at the sight, a sinking feeling in his chest at who had left the box there. He jumped out his skin once the door opened and the commanding presence of Professor Tucker arrived. 

The room was particularly silent as he made his way down to the front, dropping his folders and knocking over the box. He nearly put it under the desk before he saw the post-it  note  attached. 

Ike hid his face in his hands. But peaked through his fingers to see what happened. 

There was no real difference in the man’s demeanour. His brows pulled together and he shoved the note in his back pocket, putting the box under the desk and beginning the lecture. Ike let out a breath of relief. Though he couldn’t help be a little disappointed by the lack of drama. 

Not that disappointed, though. 

\--

It was later the same day that he caught Tricia Tucker tucked behind a corner where two corridors split. He was planning on sneaking past her with as little fuss as possible, but she was on high alert. As soon as she caught  him  she clicked her fingers and pointed at the space next to her, like he was some kind of dog. 

He did what he was told. He didn’t want her evil intentions on himself. It was bad enough he was sort of involved already. 

She held a finger to her lips and returned to peering round the corner, crouching down so he could look above her head. It wasn’t hard. He was quite tall. 

There stood their siblings, Kyle’s face scrunched up in anger and Tucker’s looking like the face he gave to someone who should’ve known the answer to a question they got wrong. 

“Some people find it sophisticated,” Tucker ran a hand through his hair. “A little salt and pepper.” 

“If you’re lucky, maybe by this time next year  you’ll be a full silver fox.” 

The scowl on Tucker’s face deepened. “I’m the same age as you.” 

“Yet I managed to keep all my hair and it hasn’t greyed yet.” 

Tucker took a step forward, imposing his presence down on Kyle, who never backed away. “Good try, Snaps. But I’m coming for you.” 

“I’d like to see you try.” 

Tucker walked away without another word, heading the other way down the corridor. They ducked back a little as Kyle turned away from the man and towards them to hide -  

A smile. A genuine, honest smile. The kind of smile he had when he was trying not to laugh. 

“ Wha ...what just happened?” 

Tricia slapped him on the arm and gave him a scathing glare before grabbing him and beginning to pull him down the corridor. He looked over his shoulder just in time to see the redheaded man emerging and heading in the other direction. 

“I don’t question why people like the things they do,” Tricia answered after a beat. “Maybe he likes the challenge, or the chase.” 

“He looked like he was having fun.” 

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, Ike. He did. Because he is. We’ve been over this, they like each other.” 

“But he does nothing but complain about Professor Tucker!” Ike cried.  “Every  time I see him. I’ve never seen him happy about it.” 

“Maybe he was waiting for a reason to be happy about it.” 

“This makes no sense to me. Someone get me a computer. Something familiar to anchor myself to.” 

She smirked at him as she hooked their arms together. “All these complicated human emotions too much for you to handle?” 

“Yes.” 

“Don’t worry. It sounds like they’re going to fight it out, now. I think all we need to do is sit back and watch. 

She was right. 

The next time he saw Kyle, it was with him near a bin, a bouquet of sunflowers in it as he sneezed repeatedly at the pollen in the air. During his next physics lecture he had to suffer through the embarrassment of his brother  _ sitting in the lecture  _ and heckling when the content was too easy, showing off his intelligence when he gave the answers to questions. 

Tricia was living for it. She would spot him and begin regaling tales of things that had happened during her classes, forcing him to tell dramatized versions of what he’d seen, conversations he’d had with Kyle. 

He was quickly learning that she didn’t care if he didn’t tell the whole truth, so long as it was entertaining. He fell into the pattern they built up pretty quickly. 

He was standing in front of the bench she lounged on in the courtyard outside their building, acting out Kyle’s latest rant on how ‘he thinks he’s better than me just because he knows the average lifespan of a sun and the number of known ones to exist’ when it happened. The sound of Wendy Testaburger’s stern voice cutting through the air. 

“I’m not here for a public discussion on it, Kyle. We’re going to my office to talk about this like adults, if the two of you can manage that.” 

Ike spun round to see the two ‘adults’ in question being led by the fierce dark-haired woman across the courtyard. The administration building that held Wendy’s office wasn’t far, but it was far enough that they had to be paraded out in front of everyone. 

Professor Tucker looked put out to say the least. He had his hands shoved in his pockets as he followed the woman, glaring at the back of her head. Kyle was there flailing his arms as he spat out words about how it was unfair and he didn’t see what her damage was. 

Tricia pulled Ike down to the seat, her blue eyes calculating as she watched it happen. He knew when to keep his mouth shut. 

Once they were out of sight, she turned to him with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I think Mrs Testa-joy-kill is here to put a stop to all our hard work.” 

“All your hard work,” Ike corrected. “I’m still claiming innocence.” 

That shark-like the smile he’d come to associate with her lit up her face. “ Sure  you are. We should probably keep low, and keep contact to a minimum. If it comes out about the box of chocolates, they’re going to try figure out who put them there in the first place.” 

“Don’t we have a fallback plan for that?” Ike questioned. He’d kind of left the planning up to her. She seemed to know what she was doing. 

She didn’t, apparently, given she shrugged it off like no big deal. 

He drew his hands down his face with a groan of frustration. 

“It’s whatever, what are they going to do? Accuse us of lying when we tell them we don’t know how it happened? It could be anyone in those classes, they’re not shy about their dislike for each other. Maintain ignorance, Broflovski. I’ll see you around.” 

She walked away without another word, hips swaying and arms swinging in that usual dramatic way she always walked. Like she owned the place. 

He honestly wouldn’t be surprised if she did own the place. 

\--

He did a pretty good job of maintaining ignorance, he thought. He saw Kyle after the meeting, the redhead looking a bit put out at the time. Surprisingly subdued. They talked about it, Kyle expressing that they thought maybe one of their students had set them up, in a way. Ike patted him on the bag and said that he was glad it was at least over. Even if they didn’t know who, he believed Kyle could find out. 

“Thing is, it was kind of fun,” Kyle admitted. “I dunno. I think I just missed someone to challenge me. Even if the way it happened was...kind of childish.” 

“Yeah, just a bit. I was always the more mature one, though.” 

He got socked in his arm for his troubles. 

What he didn’t expect was to be approached by Professor Tucker. He was called into the man's office one day, no one else in the room, just like the first time he’d been in there. They talked briefly about his grades and Professor Tucker lured him into a false sense of security with a recommendation that he continued taking some classes for his minor the next year, as he performed well. He didn’t have the heart to admit he did it for an easy grade. He had a feeling Professor Tucker wouldn’t care. 

“How’s your brother?” 

Ike stopped short, eyes wide at the question. “Huh?” 

“Your brother, Kyle. How is he?” 

“Uh, fine, I guess?” 

A tight smile. “Good. I. ..haven’t  spoken to him in a little while. Despite all the chaos he caused in my classes.” 

“He’s pretty...competative.” 

“I noticed,” Professor Tucker snorted. “I used to think he thought he was better than me, being into religion and all that shit. Turns out he’s just as bad as the rest of us.” 

“He’s not as good and morally sound as he thinks he is.” 

A smirk that reminded him of a quieter Tricia. “Thank you. It’s...” he sighed low and ran a hand through his hair as he lent back on his desk. “I never expected our little competition to get that out of hand. I think I fucked up whatever balance we had.” 

Oh no. 

_ Oh no _ . 

There were a few occasions where Ike had been described as dramatic , outside of his little performances for Tricia . This would probably be one of them ; the  pinnacle of his drama, as he let out a long groan and clawed his fingers down his face. His Professor watched on, the pain on his face cracking with confusion and mild worry as Ike’s groan continued well beyond reasonable length. 

“Are you…okay?” 

“ Professor  Tucker, I-!” he felt a flash of fear as the memory of Tricia’s evil, dark eyes remind ing him to maintain ignorance . “-It’s not your fault.” 

“Why do you say that?” 

“It’s – well, it’s a long story, but…” 

“Ike.” 

He stiffed at the use of his first name, a hand clasping his shoulder as grey eyes looked down at his with nothing but sincerity in them. “Yes?” 

“If you know anything that can help me… I’d be grateful .” 

“It was Tricia’s idea!” the dam opened. The relief that poured out was unstoppable. “She came up with this crazy idea that we should, like,  _ meddle  _ or something, but in a bad way, and she’s so  _ scary holy shit your sister is so scary _ -!” 

“Dude, calm down.” 

“Sorry.” 

Professor Tucker rolled his eyes with a smirk. “You’re so fucking soft.” 

“ Wha -huh?” 

“You owe me,  Broflovski .” 

“I owe you what?” 

“Not you.” 

Ike spun around as the grey eyes of his Professor looked over his shoulder. He saw a familiar redhead emerge from behind another desk in the room.  He felt his face grow hot as he realised that he’d been stitched up good. By his own brother. Kyle didn’t even have the decency to look ashamed as he approached Ike with a scowl on his face that reminded him a little of their mother. 

“We had a bet. He said you two were playing some game with us. I said you’d never do something so cruel.” 

“And apparently, you were wrong. Pay up.” 

“Only because your sister manipulated him with fear!” 

“I never said he was  _ willingly  _ messing with us. Just that he was part of it.” 

“I’m disappointed in you, Ike.” 

“So am I. You cracked like a little bitch.” 

“I did,” Ike confessed with a heavy sigh. “And you even bet I wouldn’t – shit, I feel awful.” 

“It’s alright. I forgive you. Just – don’t let Tricia scare you into doing this sort of thing again, alright? If you have a problem with her just tell me. I’ll sort it out for you.” 

“Thanks, bro.” 

“Why did she even want to meddle? What was she getting out of it?” 

“Does it matter?” Ike shied away from the question. “She just wanted to mess about, I think.” 

“After all the trouble you caused the  _ least  _ you can do is tell us.” 

“She…thought it’d be funny. Because of how you, like… y’know .” 

Kyle’s brow furrowed in confusion, but Professor Tucker wasn’t as slow. His face began to turn an uncharacteristic shade of red as he covered his face with a hand. 

“Bro, c’mon, you’ve heard the rumours.” 

“What  ru - _ they’re just rumours _ !” 

“Not according to Tri cia . She seems pretty convinced. At least that…” he gave a vague gesture towards Professor Tucker, feeling another pang of guilt at the nauseated look on the man’s face. “Sorry.” 

“It’s fine,”  Tucker  let out with a low sigh. “I’ll let you two…talk it out or whatever if-!” 

“No, that’s – Ike,” Kyle turned to him with purpose, a firm look on his face that he always adopted when he was about to do something difficult. “Could you give us a moment?” 

Ike and Craig echoed the same sentiment of: “What?” 

“Give us a moment, Professor Tucker and myself.” 

Ike looked to his Professor, who’s usual stoic demeanour was completely shattered and instead replaced with wide-eyed panic. He shook his head as if to tell Ike the answer was  _ no _ . He gave his best apologetic shrug before turning and all but  _ fleeing  _ from the room. 

As soon as he left the  office , he pressed his ear to the door in hopes he might be able to listen in to the conversation. But he couldn’t. A hushed conversation in a  well build office  wasn’t going to reach him from outside. 

Instead he shoved his hands in his pockets and decided the best course of action was to go play some video games before finding out what his fate would be the next day. Tricia was bound to find out he’d ratted her out, and he had no idea what was going to happen with the two  rivals . Hopefully at least  _ Kyle  _ would get a happy resolution from it all while he was being marched off to the jaws of Death by Tricia Tucker. 

\--

She trapped him. The evil, conniving, sneaky little bitch trapped him. One of his friends asked for his help in the library, searching for books, and asked him to go into one of the quiet rooms to fetch him a spare charger cable that they kept in there. While he was rummaging around the  box  he heard the door open and a chair scrape against the floor. 

He glanced over his shoulder and did a double take as he saw the witch herself tucking a chair under the  door handle  to prevent anyone from opening it. 

“We need to talk.” 

He felt sweat forming on his brow as he straightened up and folded his arms across his chest. “About what?” 

“Our maintained ignorance,” she explained, perching on the edge of the table and inspecting her nails. “Someone told me that a little piggy squealed.” 

“Uh...” he glanced to the windows, where he saw his friend sat on the other side. The man gave a helpless shrug. 

“He won’t help you,” her voice was airy and light. “I paid him in vouchers for the cafeteria in the sports centre.” 

She knew the perfect way to a person’s heart: their stomach. 

“So, do you want to tell me what happened?” 

It didn’t take much to get it out of him. He didn’t have the same poker face he’d had as a teenager lying to his mother about sneaking round the sports field to try cigarettes.  He slumped down and grimaced as he confessed his sins. “They set me up. Your brother lured me in with talk of school and then got this whole, like, ‘oh woe is me my heart is broken’ thing going on. So I told him. I just felt so bad,  y’know ? Like, I care a lot about my brother.” 

She stared at him with a clenched jaw and narrowed eyes for several moments. Enough that Ike began to sweat through the nerves as he waited for his punishment to be given out from the tyrant. 

But instead she rolled her eyes with a smirk, much like her brother had, and said: “You’re so  _ soft _ .” 

“What? Why?” 

“ No one’s  told me shit, I just guessed you’d squealed. You could’ve  _ lied _ .” 

“Oh. Right.  I . ..really  should’ve expected that. ” 

“No shit,” she took the seat next to him. 

He waited. Nothing happened. He asked: “Aren’t you mad?” 

“Nah, not really. I thought you’d crack if he figured it out and came for you. I’m just going to have to find something else to occupy our time with.” 

“Our time?!” 

“Yeah, you’re like, my partner in crime now. Your hands are dirty. There’s no getting out of it.” 

“Dude, no, please, do you have to drag me along with you?” 

“What else are you going to do, go join the games club and hang out with a bunch of sweaty nerds all day? Please. You should be thankful you have me.” 

Ike gripped his temples as he looked up at the ceiling. “I was doing just fine without you or sweaty nerds, thanks.” 

She looked up through thick lashes and fluttered them. He felt a little sick. “Things are much more entertaining with me around. I think Wendy Testaburger deserves some divine judgement for ending our game.” 

“She’ll  _ kill us _ .” 

“We’ll be sneakier this time.” 

“We’ll have a fallback plan, you mean.” 

**Author's Note:**

> This AU was one made on one of the Cryle servers, and while the person who first inspired me disappeared without a trace, I'm very grateful they were happy for me to write something inspired by it (even if it's like a year late lol)


End file.
